I think that most people have a negative emotional reaction to the word cult. Or at least that seems to be the case with people of my generation. We think of Jonestown and the hundreds who drank the poisoned Kool-Aid, as well as the children who had the Kool-Aid forced down their throats. We think of Charles Manson and the murders he and his followers committed. We think of the suicides of Heaven's Gate. We think of the Moonies and others who seemed to kidnap the souls of young men and women, and then put those young men and women on the streets to beg and sell flowers. We think of the FLDS and other cults who perpetrate pedophilia. I could go on. The word is associated with people turning into zombies and following orders without question from their leaders. In the political realm we think of the radical 60s and 70s and the political cults which intertwined with the anti-war movement. On a societal level we see the results of these cults and learn to hate the word.
On a personal level, I remember being one of those zombies. I had become intellectually convinced that to hold true a couple of my true values, I had to become a revolutionary. I had bought into a logic which said that the hope of ending all tragedy in the world lay with moving the world forward through communism. I bought into the idea that I had to change myself into a revolutionary who could make change for there to be hope for the world. If I did not do this then I was as responsible for the deaths and poverty around the world because I knew how to change it, and decided not to. The cult I was recruited to then gave a blueprint for revolution that I had just to follow. I only had to learn their methodology, language, etc., and I would become a revolutionary. We had Party lines for just about everything so we could learn how to be this world changer. I was and am a Christian and believe that one should help one's neighbors and that I am responsible for doing this. I do believe we as humans have a responsibility to help those less fortunate than ourselves. This was and is a key component of who I am and my core identity. So, I strived to become that revolutionary so that I could be true to myself.
However, the activities the cult insisted I must participate in to become that revolutionary, conflicted regularly with other key components of who I am at a core level. I had to lie to the community and my family. I stole when told to do so. I had to miss family events and visits. I declared that I would overthrow the government of my country. These activities clashed with other core values which are part of me. So a constant battle raged within me. My mind was under constant stress. I don't know when it happened, and I suspect that it happened in stages, but eventually my true self began to stay in the background when I had to do things that clashed with it. I would be looking out at myself doing it. Kind of like a character in a play. I was there and wasn't there. It was not a pleasant existence.
I think part of growing up is learning that you can't help everyone, and you can't change everything that is wrong in the world. Different people deal with this in different ways. I turn to my faith and concentrate on who I can help and what I can do. But in a cult you don't have to do this because you are under the illusion that you can and are helping everyone.
When you have a top down, no dissent allowed structure, it is a recipe for abuse. When an organization has no checks and balances, and its' members' lives are totally subsumed by that organization, abuse will happen. The level of abuse, and who does it to who may vary. But create this situation and you are sure to have it. In my case it meant sexual harassment, verbal abuse, and in one case physical abuse - being thrown across a desk and then kicked in the ribs. In these situations you become the abuser or the abused, and sometimes both.
I think ex-cult members (and cult members if they speak up) all have different stories. For me, the above were why I think a cult is a bad thing. It is the loss of control of your own identity and soul.
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